CD Review: Austrian Death Machine – Jingle All The Way EP

Austrian Death Machine - Jingle All the Way
2 stars

I never know if Austrian Death Machine is an act that should be taken seriously or if it should be considered nothing more than a comedy novelty act. Most of the time, the band seems to be an Arnold Schwarzenegger (Ahhnold) inspired version of something similar to Gwar, but then the music, like the three songs that comprise this Christmas EP, shows signs of being more than just a gimmick. The lyrics, on the other hand, are never any more than just a tribute to Ahhnold’s movies – and that can get tiring after a while.

The songs on this, their second seasonal EP, are based on the 1996 holiday movie, Jingle All the Way, which, of course, stars Ahhnold. The songs are a regaling tale of the pursuit of a "Turbo Man" doll, sung by Tim Lambesis and Ahhnold.

It’s Turbo Time is best of the three tracks, while the other two, I’m Not A Pervert and Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?, tend to sway a bit too much into the novelty area. It’s Turbo Time has a good hardcore groove and uses the Ahhnold gimmick sparsely, giving it a bit of coolness similar to the better moments of 2008’s Total Brutal. If anything, It’s Turbo Time shows that Austrian Death Machine should stick to hardcore.

I’m Not  A Pervert is a thrash attack based on the quote from the movie, while Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies? is a deathgore grinder with a touch of Cookie Monster mixed into the vocal approach. The Sesame Street cookie lover might actually sound pretty good in a deathcore tune, so Disney and Sesame Street should take note and consider doing a more proper Cookie Monster tune.

Jingle All The Way is pretty ostentatious for comedy EP and not serious enough for a regular release, leading to the obvious fact that the “Ahhnold” gimmick has maybe had its day, but for some odd reason why do I feel like they'll be back?